It is May and it is cold outside. Furthermore, our boiler has broken down (again!). I am sitting next to the gas fire place wearing multiple sweaters and socks, trying to keep warm (in May!). This is annoying. Unfortunately, this has led me to ponder some of the many things which I find annoying. So, in direct opposition to my normally pleasant and optimistic blog posts, I am going to write about annoying things. Go ahead – call me grumpy!
Knitting-related annoying things:
- Rolled edges – I know these are all the rage lately, but I don’t like them. They don’t look neat. They roll up. You put a lot of work into your garment and it looks unfinished.
- Triangular shawls – I know these are seriously all the rage these days. And there are many of them that are gorgeous. I love to see them. But I can’t wear them. They look dumb on me. They fall off. They hang funny. Though many people wear them with amazing panache, they frequently look dumb on other people too. (OK, there goes half my readership.)
- Mystery KALs – I want to know what I am knitting. Enough said.
- Colour pooling – No matter how much I love those variegated yarns on the skein, I tend to fall out of love with them when they are knitted up.
- Shapeless cardigans – Why are these so popular right now?
- People who don’t measure themselves and then blame the designer when the sweater doesn’t fit- Do you think that people come in standard sizes? Does the designer come and personally measure you?
Book-related annoying things:
- Bad editing – I hate this above all else.
- Billionaires – As soon as I see the word “billionaire” on the jacket copy you’ve lost me (it used to be “millionaire”, but, you know, inflation….) While I’m on the topic, I also hate serial killers, motorcycle clubs, rock stars, hockey players, tattoo artists, and generally, anyone under 25 (OK, now I’m just being mean!).
- Any book with a pink cover.
- Self-help books – Why do they all have numbers? Ten things that will make you happy. Three ways to get rich. Seven rules for making friends. Does counting make us happier? (I am a knitter; believe me, it doesn’t.)
- Diet books – All of them.
- Bad editing – This is so annoying, that I’m listing it twice.
Generally annoying things:
- Pseudo-science – Just because.
- Reality TV – What is the point? Really; I don’t get it.
- Being questioned about American politics – Do you have any idea what it’s like to be an American in Europe right now? US politics are such a train wreck at the moment, everyone wants to ask you about it. As soon as I open my mouth, people discern my accent and line up to ask “WTF?”
- Flavoured coffee – OK, so I’m being curmudgeonly here.
- Celebrities – Huh?
I’m going to pour myself a glass of wine and knit now. The next time you hear from me, I will be my normal cheerful self.