Pattern Bombardment Syndrome

Disease:  Pattern Bombardment Syndrome

Causes:
too many patterns
daily releases
internet facilitation
saturation
only so many unique things can be done with yarn and two needles

Symptoms:
Like a virus (or bipolar disorder), the disease cycles – between being completely overwhelmed with all of the fabulousness of hundreds of great patterns and wanting to knit everything, and feeling completely underwhelmed and thinking “seen that, done that”; these up-down-up-down swings can cause emotional distress.

Symptoms of Pattern Bombardment Syndrome can range from mild to severe.  Learn to recognize early warning signs:

  • spending hours on Ravelry, knitting blogs and other on-line knitting-related sites, aimlessly surfing through patterns in an increasingly apathetic manner
  • looking at a new release (say of BT or Twist Collection) and needing to sit on your hands to keep from buying 20 patterns when deep down you know that you will at the most possibly knit one of them
  • losing your knitting mojo
  • looking at a pattern and immediately calling to mind ten other patterns which are very nearly the same
  • realizing that you are subconsciously tracking which patterns make it to the top of Ravelry’s “Hot right now” page and how long they stay there for
  • catching yourself drooling while looking at knitting sites
  • spending time analyzing the effect of social media savviness on why one pattern will succeed wildly when another will not
  • waking up at 3am to see if the new spring edition of [insert online knitting mag here] has just been released; and then checking it again at 4am
  • becoming a designer fan girl
  • becoming increasingly annoyed at designer-fan-girl-dom
  • being unable to pick a new project because you have 700 items in your queue

Treatment:

  • put down the laptop and go for a walk
  • stop putting patterns in your queue
  • better yet, get rid of your queue
  • limit your time on knitting sites
  • spend more time knitting and less time thinking, talking, reading about knitting
  • spend more time doing things completely unrelated to knitting
  • stop being obsessive
  • think carefully about what you want to knit and don’t be a slavish trend follower
  • re-position yourself on the product knitter-process knitter continuum; it’s OK to shift towards one end or the other at different points in your knitting life
  • remind yourself that knitting is supposed to be fun; it’s not a competitive sport
  • design your own patterns or knit without one

19 thoughts on “Pattern Bombardment Syndrome

  1. I wonder how many patterns I’ve purchased that I will NEVER knit? My personal goal of A Year with Alice (punctuated by “palate cleansers”) should help alleviate this, as I’m a Starmore junkie and her cabled sweaters fit my lifestyle perfectly.

  2. Perfectly said! I have several projects on the needles and seeing all these new patterns is simply distracting and a little discouraging. I’m trying to spend more time on my UFOs and less time dreaming. The new patterns will still be there when I have time to knit them.

  3. Pingback: Pattern Radar – August 2016 | Knitigating Circumstances

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