The opposite of Start-itis

Kelly: “I have the opposite of start-itis, Doug.”

Doug: “What does that mean?”

Kelly: “You know: start-itis is the very expensive compulsion to keep casting on new knitting projects without finishing any of the ever-growing number of knitting projects that you have already cast on!”

Doug: “Yes, I know what start-itis is.  I want to know: what is the opposite of start-itis?”

Kelly: “That’s what I have!”

Doug: “I got that part; what does it mean?”

Kelly: “It means that I can’t cast on anything.  I try and try and nothing happens. I’ve been trying to cast on something for weeks.  I can’t do it.  It’s the opposite of start-itis. What would you call that?  It can’t be called ‘end-itis’, which would be something else entirely.”

Doug: “Okay, Kelly, break this down for me. Why can’t you cast anything on?”

Kelly: “I don’t know.”

Doug: “Do you have yarn?”

Kelly: “Yes.”

Doug: “Lots of yarn?”

Kelly: “Yes.”

Doug: “Do you have patterns?”

Kelly: “Yes.”

Doug: “Lots of patterns?”

Kelly: “Yes.”

Doug: “Do you have an enormous variety of knitting needles and other knitting paraphernalia, overflowing throughout the house, inhabiting every room and potentially procreating?”

Kelly: “Yes.”

Doug: “So you have, realistically, thousands of potential projects, perhaps tens of thousands, with the necessary yarn, patterns, needles, and other accessories that you need in order to cast on?”

Kelly: “Well, I guess so, if you want to put it that way.”

Doug: “But you can’t cast on anything?”

Kelly: “No.”

Doug: “I know what the opposite of start-itis is.”

Kelly: “Really? Fantastic! What is it?”

Doug: “Procrastination!”

20 thoughts on “The opposite of Start-itis

  1. Thanks for the chuckle! I definitely have start-itis. Except these last few weeks I finished a couple of pink scarves I started (donated to Rays of Hope walk) and wove in the ends of 2 other projects that were sitting waiting for me. But now I need to start a basic knit for a flight I’m taking next week. All my on-the-needles projects require too much concentration. I also went through my WIPs and frogged a few that I have no interest in anymore.

  2. I know how that is. In my case, I’ve been thinking for two months, “I think I’ll start a pair of socks.” Still no signs of socks in progress anywhere. I guess the good news is that you can finish things or just work on what you’ve got started already.

    • Unfortunately, no good news. I have only one thing on the needles at the moment, and I am so overwhelmed at work these days that I can’t bring myself to knit on it. I am trying to find a no-stress project, but it’s not working. I think you should give up on the socks and knit a nice jumper!

      • I’m sorry to hear that! I am in fact working on a jumper! I know how it feels when work interrupts the knitting. I hope the storm at work quiets down a bit soon for you!

  3. This is the most hilarious blog post ever! Thank you for making me laugh! What about all the new fall/winter patterns? Is nothing thrilling you right now? I recommend that you run your hands through the softest balls of yarn you have and just enjoy your yarn. Something will come to you eventually.

  4. Are you, perhaps, overwhelmed with so many patterns and yarn? Or the stress in your life is affecting your knitting motivation? Related to this, at times I leave some projects after starting them, when encountering an issue with an unfamiliar or somewhat difficult technique or the sweater is not knitting up to the size I planned (even though I always swatch). This is a delightful post; I do, however, feel your pain. I find hanging out with other prolific knitters is very motivating. Good luck!

  5. I have a different kind of opposite-of-startitis whereby I am steadfastly refusing to cast on anything new until I have finished the cardigan I have been working on since forever and which is progressing at a glacial pace. Hope you find a project that inspires you soon.

  6. lol! At first I thought this was going to be a tale of finishing WIPs and UFOs. I should have known better.
    Maybe you need a cruise through Ravelry to inspire you?

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